Divorce and Children

The research on divorce, both its prevalence and the effect it has on children, is as plentiful as it is emotionally charged. Paul Amato addresses these issues in The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-being of the Next Generation, saying, “Children are the innocent victims of their parents’ inability to maintain harmonious and stable homes” (90). My husband and I are coming up on our third anniversary, so by no means do I profess to be an expert on either marriage or divorce, but I can say that I have a strong belief that marriage is sacred, not only as a means of joining a loving man and wife together, but as the basis of a safe, nurturing place to raise children.

Hard logic and extensive research highlights the negative effects of divorce on children. Amato used meta-analysis to sift through decades of data and research to shed light on the impact of divorce. He found that children of divorced parents are at increased risk of behavioral, emotional, and academic problems (76). He also found that these children are also at increased risk of divorce, noting the modest, positive correlation between divorced parents and children who struggle with self-esteem, peer relationships, and demonstrate weaker bonds with their parents (77-78). Although children who lose a parent through death are more likely than children of divorced parents to experience depression into adulthood, they were also more likely to score higher on other outcomes (79-80). 

Does this mean that divorce is never more positive than a conflictual marriage? In high-conflict marriages, children seem to fare about the same as children from divorced families: however, the majority of marriages ending in divorce are low-conflict (80). In such cases, divorce is likely more harmful than remaining in a low-conflict marriage. This concept is reinforced by Elder James E. Faust’s counsel on what does and does not constitute grounds for divorce. According to his talk, “Father Come Home”, it should be “nothing less serious than a prolonged and irredeemable relationship which is destructive to the person’s dignity as a human being.” Faust said that differences in personality, drifting apart, or falling out of love are not justifiable reasons for divorce. In a similar strain, Elder Dallin H. Oaks conceded that for irreparable marriages, it is important to have a way to end it. However, he admonished in the same talk, “Divorce”, “I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance.” Sadly, the creators of “The State of Our Unions” estimate that 40-50% of marriages today will end in divorce (Marquardt, et. al, pg. 1).

With all of the negative impacts divorce brings upon innocent children, great care should be taken to nurture marriages so children can grow up in happy, safe, and stable homes. Elder Oaks said, “Because divorce separates the interests of children from the interests of their parents, children are its first victims.” Unfortunately, modern society has become less child-centric, with interests of children moving from the spotlight onto the sidelines (Marquardt, et. al, pg. 84, 86). In fact, the “presence of a child only slightly inhibits likelihood of divorce” (88).

There is overwhelming evidence that divorce and broken homes are detrimental to the development of the children affected by them. Marriages are not meant to be entered into and left on a whim, but to be protected and nurtured, not only for the couple, but for the children they raise; children who are the future.

Amato, P. (2005). The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional
well-being of the next generation. The Future of Children, 15(2), 75-96.

Faust, J. E. (May 1993). "Father, Come Home," Ensign.

Marquardt E., Blankenhorn D., Lerman R.I., Malone-Colón L., and Wilcox W.B., “The
President’s Marriage Agenda for the Forgotten Sixty Percent,” The State of Our Unions(Charlottesville, VA: National Marriage Project and Institute for American Values, 2012).
Oaks, D.H. (May 2007). “Divorce.” Ensign.