The Doctrine of Eternal Marriage

In a world of shifting values and morals, it is comforting to know that God and His laws do not change. One of the most comforting doctrines of the LDS church is that marriage between a man and a woman is not only important in this life, but essential in eternity, and meant to last forever. In the words of David A. Bednar, a latter-day apostle, "Righteous marriage is a commandment and an essential step in the process of creating a loving family relationship that can be perpetuated beyond the grave." For such a marriage to last beyond death, it must take place in the temple, as a covenant between the man, the woman, and the Lord, and sealed by the power of the restored priesthood.

As the apostle Paul states in 1 Corinthians 11:11, "...neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." David A. Bednar further explained this when he said, "For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary." Despite what modern society currently professes, men and women are different by nature. Each is endowed with different strengths, and each needs the other to be complete in eternity. We have been put on earth to progress, but our progression, learning, and growth do not stop there. One day, we are meant to become like our Heavenly Father, in power, understanding, and creation. We can only reach that potential as a man and a woman, married and sealed for eternity.

The idea of an eternal marriage may seem foreign in today's world. The individualism and independence that is so glorified today can undermine the true joy that comes from caring for and relying on one another in marriage. Elder Bruce C. Hafen compared what is common in society, a "contractual marriage", with what marriage ought to be, a "covenant marriage": "When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God." He taught that every marriage faces challenges, which can be summarized into three types of adversity: excessive individualism, natural adversity, and each person's imperfections. 

My husband and I have a wonderful, if imperfect, marriage, and together we have been tried by different challenges. We faced natural adversity when we lost our first pregnancy in miscarriage, and when our daughter was born a month early and had an extended stay in the NICU. Our own imperfections try us: I am sure my husband finds me impatient, disorganized, and at times a bit feisty. However, through all these trials, we remember that we made a promise, not only to each other, but to the Lord, to remain faithful and to love one another. We also know that we did not only marry to find our own happiness, but to provide a safe, loving home for the children we bring into this world. That knowledge bears us up, and binds us together. Our greatest happiness is knowing that through the priesthood, the holy temple, and our covenants, we can be together forever.

Sources:

Hafen, Bruce C., “Covenant Marriage,” Ensign, Nov 1996, 26.

Bednar, David A., "Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan," June 2006.